Seminary Graduation

Last night we attended Jordan's Seminary Graduation. It was a great event, three good talks by fellow students and over in about an hour. It was a bitter sweet experience. We are proud of his work and a little sad at this coming to an end. He has really enjoyed Seminary and has done really well. No longer having a student in Seminary will be an odd thing for our family. The lessons taught there and then shared in our home have truly been a blessing. We are so grateful that the church continues to provide this opportunity for our children.

Four Letter Words

I want to start with a word of warning today. I will be talking about dirty four letter words. (Parents, watch your children).

I was raised with a grandfather who was a master at the colorful metaphor. These words rolled off his tongue with no effort or thought. A four letter word by it's self is bad enough, but when you give it a companion, well you know the rest.

Today I am talking about a pair of vial words put together to make up something horrible. These words are "YARD WORK". We have reached that time of year that no matter how much you try to avoid them, every time you step out the door they are in your face. To make matters worse there are those sick and twisted people that seem to enjoy it. We have a house in our neighborhood that just about makes me sick. I do not know these people, but I call their home Duloc and him Lord Farquad. It is indeed the perfect place. I wonder if people like this really enjoy the work, or if they just enjoy making the rest of us feel bad as we pass by.

I have been putting things off as long as I could, so this morning I was out getting the flower beds ready for planting. We should get the flowers planted tonight. We have also added another tree to the back yard and are looking for another. Like most "work" "yard work" is an opposite of fun. Of course like most "work" there is a sense of accomplishment when the job is done. Hey who knows, maybe I can help someone else feel a little guilty that their flowers aren't in yet.

Summer is here

The Memorial Day weekend officially kicks off summer in my world. Even though it was cool and raining most of the weekend, I still feel that summer mood coming on. Next week is the last week of school, Jordan will be at scout camp the week after that. "GAME ON"

Kenny returned yesterday from a year in Iraq. It was great to see him for a few minutes. He is the same great guy that he always has been. He said that the 90 degrees of Texas was a little cool after what he has been used to. Also, he had lost 50 pounds of body armor and gear. He spirit was high (almost as high as his parents). We are so grateful for his safe return and his positive attitude.

Memorial Day

Today I am remembering what Memorial Day was like when I was a boy. We would take glass jars that had been saved for a few months and cover them with tin foil. They made really shiny vases. We would then go into the yard and cut iris from the flower garden. We would pack them up and head to Grandma Crosby's house to cut some snow balls from the snow ball bush. Then we were off to decorate the graves. We would go to Wasatch Memorial Lawn where my Grandma Bracken and my Great Grandma Lefevere are buried. My brother and I would always take a walk in the area just to the north of Grandma Bracken's grave to look for the head stone of the man who drove the race car. It was a reverent day, but also a happy day. We were together and we were honoring those who had gone before us.

Now days I have so many other graves to visit. So many more of my family and Jane's family that have passed on. As we visited Cemetery Hill yesterday we were able to honor Jane's father by doing what he would have done if he were here. We placed flowers on the family graves that he so lovingly cared for. We also passed by the graves of Mike's parents to remember them and be sure that things were ok. I will visit Valley View Cemetery today to remember so many that are buried there. I get a feeling of love and gratitude when I remember these great people that have been a part of my life. I hope to live in a way that will bring honor to their memories.

A year older

Today is my birthday. It's not one of the "BIG" years and I want to remind everyone that I am still closer to mid-forty than to fifty. I have been using the occasion to party all I can. Friday we went to see the new Indy movie and to dinner. Seeing Indy being affected by the years made me feel better. I am now able to understand what my Grandma Crosby meant when she said that you don't feel any different, you just look in the mirror and wonder who that old person is. It does seem odd that little John Boyd is a middle aged guy who has been married almost 25 years, with a daughter that is married and a son about to complete high school. I often wonder how it happened. As a shy boy I could never imagine how I would ever get to this point. I am so grateful for the wonderful people in my life. I enjoy every day with my family.

My birthday present is concert tickets to see the Police. I saw them in concert last time they were here. I took my sister Bonnie for her birthday (I think it was her 15th). Now she is about to have her oldest son married. That may make us seem old, but Sting is still older. I must have done something right when my son wants go to the concert almost as much as I do.

If I had the chance to go back to any point and restart, I think I would pass. I am happy with where I am. I may have even learned a thing or two over the years. I didn't even feel like an adult till I hit forty (I still have no plan to act like one). I have no idea how I will feel about hitting fifty, but that is "years" away. I will enjoy today.

Life is a Highway

In the normal course of my work I travel around visiting offices. It is not unusual for me to spend two to four hours a day in my truck driving. When I run into a meeting I will often get sympathy from others in the office. They are glad that they don't have to be running around. I will play into this sympathy when ever possible. I am happy to have them think that they have things so much better than I do. I don't share my secret. I feel sorry for them, being stuck at a desk looking out the same window all day. I get to drive around, see the beauty of the mountains, the progress on construction projects and have time to listen to the radio. I am grateful for the beautiful place where I live and love the journey that each day brings.

Life is indeed a journey and if we are going to be happy we need to enjoy it. Anytime we look outside of ourselves for happiness we will be disappointed. I have often heard people say things like "when I do this, that will make me happy" or "when I get that, then I will be happy". We all have the power to choose to be happy right here, right now. Life is a highway so enjoy the ride.

Doctor Pearce's Opus

Last evening we attended a choir performance at the high school. It was a presentation of Karl Jenkins' Requiem. In was a combined performance by the Concert Choir, Orchestra and Dance Company. It was incredible. At a time or two a found myself questioning if this music could really be coming from these high school kids. They sang from memory Latin and Japanese for almost an hour.

Mark Pearce is the choir teacher at the school. Both my daughter and son have been in his choir classes. I am grateful that they took the opportunity to be a part of this. These experiences will stay with them forever.

This has reminded me of when I was in the high school choir with Mark's father as my choir director. Mark has the same commitment and passion that his father shared with me. I am grateful that there are people willing to commit their lives to enrich the lives of our children. My life has been blessed by both the father and his son.

Whats that hissing sound?

Yesterday, Jane got out of her car in the garage at lunch time and heard a loud hissing sound. As she walked around the vehicle she could see that a rear tire was going flat. I was already on my way home for lunch. We traded cars and I changed the tire. I then dropped the flat off to get fixed on my way back to work. This is the second time that she has had a flat since we got this vehicle. Both times it went flat in our own garage. As I was changing the tire I was so grateful that I wasn't on the side of the road somewhere.

Like most things in life, when I took a moment to look for it, there was indeed a reason to be grateful. I remember a day in my old truck when the clutch was going out. I was praying so hard that I could get to the mechanic without dying on the road. My prayer was answered. It was really cold day (about 20 degrees). I learned an important lesson about prayerer that day. Pray for what you really need. On this day I just didn't think about the whole trip. I prayed that I could get the truck to the shop, but forgot to say anything about getting to work afterwards. As I walked the two miles to the office in the brisk morning air, I could be nothing but grateful that my prayer was answered. I decided my prayers would be more specific in the future.

IW (Instant World)

It is amazing to watch kids and technology. Text messaging, instant messaging, online gaming etc. I really felt a world apart when I watched Jordan participating in seven conversations at once. He was a part of three online forums, had two IM sessions going and was texting a couple of other people all at the same time. It was amazing to watch him flow between them without even a second thought. When I first started texting I found it very frustrating. Amanda would send me a long message and I would fumble through creating a response. I would then send it on, with pride in my accomplishment. A second or two later she would be sending me an even longer message. It this point I would start to feel a little frustrated. I am getting better as time goes on. We now use texting as a major means of communication in our family.

I have also found it interesting to see how little time Jordan spends watching tv. For him a tv is simply another screen where you can surf the internet, play a game or even instant message. Reading news online rather than watching it. Watching videos on Youtube rather than watching a show. Doing instant research on any subject where you may have a question. The expectation of instant feedback continues to grow.

While the ability to adapt to new ever changing technology is a good thing, I worry that many young people seldom have the chance to learn patience. I hope that as parents we have given our kids the chance to wait for things. To have to work and earn something that is important. I worry that as the world continues to expect instant information and resolution to problems, that patience will become a lost skill. I hope not.

Simple Pleasures

This weekend was much like any other. Friday night we spent the evening at Jane's moms. Saturday we did our usual house work and shopping. We did get to a garden center to purchase a few flowers for Jane's mom and a tree for us. We then planted the flowers in one flower bed at moms house. The rest of the evening was spent with Analey and Jane working on Analey's quilt. Jordan on the other hand was attending his last dance of high school. They rode in a Hummer Limo to dinner and to the dance. They played laser tag and just had a great time. This is the end if the school dance era for our family. I am glad that he went and had a great time. Sunday like most was spent in church and having dinner with the family.

Ours is a simple life in many ways. The average family going about the normal things that we do. When I take time to sit back and reflect, I see that the joy in life is made up of these simple things.

Great Project

Yesterday we were able to attend the open house for the home that Jordan has been working on all year in his home building class. It was fantastic to see the finished product. All year we have enjoyed hearing about his experiences with this project. He has learned so much. He never wants to do sheet rock again if possible. He knows what it takes to make things level. He notices the little things that make a big difference. There is nothing like the sense of accomplishment seeing a project like this completed. I am so glad he made the choice to take this class. As he showed us around we noticed the craftsmanship and the attention to detail. The finished product is a step above most homes built by your standard builder. Being a part of your children's growing up is an amazing process. You see them becoming the person that they will be. This is one of those parent pay days.

Get at it...

There is no question that spring is here. I see more birds every morning as I am out and about. I am noticing a few things as I watch them. First I hear their singing. I don't claim to speak bird very well, but their songs sound pretty joyful to me. I also see them going about doing what they do. The thing that strikes me as I watch them is the energy with which they go about it. They don't waste time or move slow, they just get at it.

It seems there are lessons here for us. We should take joy in the daily tasks that are there before us. We should get at it, and get our work done. We should also have faith that if we do our part things will work out. Spending time thinking about what might have been, or wishing for what may be in the future gets us no where. We should follow this example, get at it and be happy today.

Do ya a lot a good

For the last three weeks I have been walking in the mornings again. I spend about thirty minutes out in the morning air. I enjoy the time to just be by myself and think. It is amazing how it changes the entire day. I have more energy and am more alert. That is not to say that I no longer drop off to sleep at times.

I have been walking most days for some time, but this winter I didn't just fall off the wagon, I jumped off and ran away. Like everything else in life, a good habit is hard to start and easy to stop. While bad habits just show up on their own and never want to go. They remind me of weeds, they keep sprouting and you keep fighting.

Walking has had a large influence on my blogging. In between solving the worlds problems, I have these random thoughts run through my head that end up here. As a wise old man once said about walking "all that fresh air and exercise will do ya a lot a good".

My Precious

I can hear the deep sigh and see the eye roll as my wife sees this post. She pointed out to me that I was talking about this subject every day. Since then, I have been really trying to give her a break here and there.

Those of you who know me well know that I am a technology buff (or nut). So I am sure that it comes as no surprise that HDTV is my new love. To have a bright clear 40 inch screen is my version of "mechanized joy". I can hook my computer to it and have a giant monitor. I can watch movies in 1080i. I can surf the Internet via the Wii. I have been encouraging Jordan to ask for a PS3 for graduation so I can start buying Blu-Ray. I think I will then ask for a PS3 keyboard for fathers day so I can start blogging on the "precious". I have written a little song to truly express my feelings. (I think you can catch the tune).

*

*

I was shopping for a new screen

Which one's me

A power eating plasma or an LCD

So glad my wife buys things by their looks

The great looking Bravia is what we took

*

ten-eighty-HDTV

I know you will love it, take a look and see

You'll moan when the broadcast is just seven-twenty-P

I hope you enjoy it as much as me

It brings new life to plan TV

ten-eighty is "it" you'll see

*

My Mother-in-law

This is my final mothers day entry, (I promise). This series would not be complete without a few words about my mother-in-law. I am so lucky to not have any idea what people are talking about when they complain about in-laws. Grammy "as my kids call her" has always been great to me. She took me in and treated my as one of the family from the start. She was so helpful when we were first married. For a full year we would do all our laundry at her home. She never said a word. In fact, she rewarded us with a meal whenever we were there. Her home has always been a place of refuge and welcome for her family. She set the example of what a wife and mother should be for my wife. My children and I have enjoyed the benefits of that teaching.

Ours lives are much richer due to her service and example. Now she has reached the time of life when we have the chance to return some of that caring and service. We are honored to be able to be there for her.

Mothers Day is Here

Today I wanted to continue my mothers day theme by talking about the mother of my children. Jane has been a mother now for almost 22 years. I have learned so much from watching her be a mom. There is nothing that she can't or won't do for her children. She has always made them her top priority. Even though she never knew my grandma Isabell Bracken, she takes after her when it comes to defending her children. I will never forget the day when there was program to award achievement day certificates in our ward. When we arrived at the program we found out that Amanda was the only one not receiving an award for her accomplishments when she had indeed done the work. Jane was so angry she couldn't even speak. You can mess with us, but don't mess with her kids. I doubt Amanda even remembers that night, but I am sure Jane will ever forget it. We have been planning to take a trip this summer without the kids. We have never done this before and she has been feeling guilty about it. Jordan is insisting that we go ahead and go. As always she is wanting to put them first.

Watching her as a mother over these years has been great. I have seen her capacity to love go beyond anything I have known. As we are approaching the empty nest faze of our lives, I know that this love will continue to grow as our family grows. We have been so blessed to have gone from a family of 4 to a family of 5 with Amanda getting married.

Having such a great mom as my wife is something that I am so grateful for. I am a better man because of her. I have found this subject hard to put into words, so many of these feelings are so personal. I do want the world to know that I love her beyond what words can express.

My Mom

Today I want to write about my mom Dorothy Crosby Bracken. As I think about my mom, my first thought is that she was always there. There is a feeling of comfort and safety knowing that your mom would be there when ever you needed anything. I remember one day on the fourth grade that I had wished for a little "less mom being there". For several days she had told me to make my bed and I had paid no attention. Finally she said that if I went to school without having made my bed, she would come to school to get me so I could do it. I thought this was an idle threat, so I went off to school. I will never forget that sinking feeling of seeing mom at the door of the classroom. She simply said that she needed me to come home for a few minutes. She didn't embarrass me by saying why (for which I was very grateful). The lesson was learned and I knew that when she said something I needed to pay attention.

Mom understood me. This helped me get over one of my biggest challenges. As a young boy I had an overwhelming feeling of self-consciousness that was almost crippling at times. Knowing that I looked at things in a logical manner (at times), she patiently explained to me that other people had too many other things to worry about to be watching me all the time. This made sense to me and made a huge difference in the way I faced the world. She gave me the most important things that any child can have. She taught me how to take care of myself, to iron, do laundry etc. She taught me the importance of family, the importance of faith and the importance of service. These were taught by example.

I will be forever grateful for the childhood that I had. When I left home to go on my mission, I had the basic skills, confidence and faith that I needed. I then started to appreciate all that mom had taught and given me.

Mom, I hope that you know the great influence you have had on my life. In many ways I am who I am because of you.

Grandma Crosby

My grandmother on my mothers side is Nellie Crosby. She was one of the most joyful people I have ever known. I can't say if she was this way with everyone, but around her family she was. She could remember every detail of the lives of everyone. You didn't need to talk to aunts, uncles or cousins, you simply needed to talk to grandma. She would share with you all the "wonderful and fantastic" things that everyone was doing. No one else in the world had a family as incredible as hers. Through it all I knew that secretly I was the favorite. (I know that everyone else thought they were, but it was really me). I always enjoyed spending time with grandma and grandpa. The job I had after high school was near to their home and I would go and have lunch with them most days. This visits reminded me that I really was her favorite.

Each Christmas day there would be a special hand made gift waiting for you. The only thing that was required was to come to her home to collect it. These personal gifts were the product of a years worth of work on her part. As soon as Christmas was over she would begin work on next years gifts. She had the ability to look at things and see what they could become. The wise men she made from beer bottles are falling apart but we still treasure them. My favorite gift is a small man she made for me. He is made from yarn and has a cape and a big sombrero. This is made around a mini bottle. Once again she looked past what something was and saw what it could be. I wonder if that is the way she saw us.

Life with grandma around was truly sweet. I hope that I can pass on that feeling of love and confidence that I felt when she was around. This is the way I hope to honor her. It reminds me that none of us truly walk alone, but we are lifted by those who helped us become who we are.

Grandma Flora

After Grandma Bracken died, grandpa remarried. We were are sure glad that he picked so well. Grandma Flora was as much a grandmother to me as anyone could ever be. She was a good companion to grandpa, and treated us just like we were her own. I still have several pairs of the hand made slippers she made and gave each Christmas. The hand made quilt she gave us for our wedding is something that we treasure. She was very thoughtful and paid close attention to things that meant something to people. She had labels on many items in her home to insure that they went to the person she wanted to have them.

She was so good to Jane and my children also. She made things for them and continued to be a fantastic grandmother to all of them. She was such a blessing in our lives. At her funeral the moment that really made me sad was when my cousin Jeff spoke and said that he now realized what he had missed out on by now allowing her to be grandmother to him. He was right.

I feel that grandma Isabell had great love for grandma Flora because she loved and cared for those whom she loved. My life has been blessed to have had a third grandma.

Mother's Day is Coming

As I think of Mother's Day this Sunday I think of the mothers that have had such a big impact in my life. I will be writing for the next few days about them.

I want to start with my Grandma Isabell Bracken. She died when I was only 9 years old, so my memories are few. My most vivid memory is of her teeth in a glass on the kitchen sink. To a small boy this was pretty amazing. I remember Sunday evenings watching Gun Smoke, Wonderful World of Disney and Lawrence Welk. If I recall correctly, we watched the first Superbowl there when the Colts won. The other thing that was amazing to me was the aluminum Christmas tree with the color wheel. It was so cool, in fact I would love to have one now. I clearly remember her funeral. I saw my father cry for the first time in my life. At the funeral home the smell of flowers was very strong. This smell still reminds me of that day. This was the first time I remember the whole funeral process, the viewing, the funeral and then going to the cemetery.

Most of the things that come to mind when I think of her are the stories my dad had told me. The one theme that I get from these stories is that you would be better off in a cage with a lion, than between Isabell Bracken and her family. I am proud to have this example to follow.

Memories of Milo

My grandfather on my fathers side is named Milo Bracken. He was born in Star Valley Wyoming. He was a quiet man, in fact I can not remember even one quote from him. I do remember his smile, his work ethic and his patience. almost every week we would spend Sunday evening at grandpa's house. I remember him sitting in his chair smiling and laughing as everyone visited. I don't think I ever heard a cross word from him. I simply remember his great patience with me in every circumstance.

One year grandpa, dad, my brother Steve and I went deer hunting west of Nephi. We were in grandpa's old green Chevy truck that he had painted by hand. We hiked up and down the hills and were ready to leave. Upon Steve's pleading that we just go around this one more hill we saw what looked like a deer on the side of the mountain. They sent Steve and I to investigate. I was armed with my trusty BB gun (great for deer hunting). As we got closer we could see that it was indeed a deer. It jumped up and ran down the hill into a field. It stopped to look back at us and dad shot it. Grandpa drove the truck out in the field next to the deer and dad talked him into cleaning it. They then simply tossed it into the back of the truck and we were on our way home.

The greatest example of grandpa's patience was when they took Bonnie and me with them to Green River. I got sick and grandpa wanted to give me some "white lightning" cough syrup. Being the "medical expert" that I was at 12 or so, I refused. I was told him in no uncertain terms that I needed an "expectorant" and would take nothing else. He didn't say a word, but returned shortly for the local drug store with some over the counter cough syrup clearly labeled "expectorant". Between my being sick and Bonnie being home sick, I am sure that this was a miserable time for him, but not a word of complaint or impatience with us.

His example makes me proud to carry the name Bracken.

Remembering Silas

My grandfather on my mother’s side is Silas Crosby. He was a rough around the edges old cowboy turned construction worker. He was born in Panguitch Utah the oldest of eight boys. To me he was simply grandpa. I have great memories of fishing with him. The first fish I ever caught was on Smith and Morehouse reservoir with grandpa. I remember a trip to Strawberry with grandpa and his old pal Dennis. We were in grandpa's old blue boat. The girls didn't get to go fishing with grandpa. He said that it had nothing to do with gender, just aim. Once you were on the lake, you did not come back to shore. If you could pee in a can you could go on the boat. Even thought he was a tough old guy, he always kept a close eye on me on these trips. I always felt safe and knew that he was watching out for me.

Grandpa was a construction boss for a company that built churches. He and grandma would move around to where the job site was. This gave us the chance to travel and visit them. The first trip that I remember was to visit them in Flagstaff Arizona. They lived in a really cool apartment. We went to the Grand Canyon, to some Indian ruins and we rode on a ski lift. These were all great, but the ski lift was the most memorable. The two things that stand out in my memory were the coats that the ski lodge let us use and my mom screaming in terror on the ride. To a little boy who was having a great time, seeing your mom so scared was pretty funny.

The trip I remember the most was when I went by my self to LaGrande Oregon with grandpa and grandma. Grandpa has come up with an idea of some work that I could do on the job site for him. The drive there was great. We stopped at the Red Barron cafe in Brigham City Utah for breakfast. I had the best pancakes in the world Then in LaGrande, we went to the "hog joint". This was a small buffet restaurant. I have no idea what it was really called, but grandpa called it the "hog joint" because everyone made a pig of themselves. My job was to crawl through the access tunnels that run under the church and sweep up all the dust and debris that had fallen down there. For a boy it was like going on your own journey to the center of the earth. I loved it. Grandpa and grandma couldn't leave the job site to bring me back so I got a real adventure coming home. Some friends of theirs were heading back to Utah, but were only going as far as Tremonton. There they put me on a greyhound bus. To a small boy this was scary and exciting. I had never traveled alone before. Of course mom and dad were waiting in Salt Lake at the bus station when I arrived.

I remember standing with grandpa next to grandma's casket in the funeral home and seeing him cry for the first time in my life. He was wondering if she would be able to forgive him for the way he had taken care of her in her declining years. Of course there was nothing to forgive. He loved her so much and was there by her side everyday.

I would love to exit this world as he did. The day he died we had a big family party at my parent’s home. I sat in a chair next to him joking as always till ten in the evening. Two hours later my parents called to say that he had simply slumped over and was gone. A few months earlier he was told that he had congestive heart failure. He was staying with my uncle in Kanab and we wanted to visit him. When we walked in he said "if you are here for a wake, you'll be disappointed. I'm not going anywhere." He had a great time showing my kids his latest toys. He had a robot bank that ate money and a little mechanical dog that would do flips.

There was never a question in my mind that I was special to him. I hope that I will be able to pass this same feeling on to my grand kids when the day comes.